They don't know my story. As if each day I have to put up an act. Pretending that I'm fine. All I hear is the laughter ringing in my ears. I just want this to be over. I don’t know why I have these feelings. Always feeling sad. Always feeling depressed. I wanted it to go away. One. Two. Three.. I’m feeling sleepy now. I lay down saying “goodbye” sending out suspicious texts. Having my boyfriend ask me “what’s wrong” and leaving people that love me worry… I didn’t want it to end like this.. I just couldn’t take it anymore. They don’t understand. no one does. but my baby boy is trying. Trying his hardest to make me better. Trying his hardest to make me smile. He’s the best thing that’s ever been mine. I drift off to sleep, thinking I wouldn’t wake up. The next morning I do wake up… another day… putting up an act..
Weeks goes by.. we used to be best friends.. now? strangers.. that's what we are. I wreck everything. I've thought of moving on.. giving up. I'm tired of all this. I'm tired of fighting. But yet this is the first time I every felt this way. First time I actually felt loved. Yet this has to ruin everything. I want to give up and sleep. I want my heart to forget everything. But knew even if I forget everything, I would still be walking around looking for memories of the past. Memories of our love. Memories. Just memories. Only if I didn't come back then maybe things would be different. I wanted to give up.